Alan Carr: ‘100 not out!’

Alan Carr: Chatty Man, the toothsome comic’s award-winning mix of celebrity chat, sketches and music, has already notched up ten series since making its first appearance in 2009. As an eleventh series kicks off on Channel 4, we caught up with the 37-year-old host to talk best and worst guests, Baftas and burgers…

Next month we’ll be celebrating our 100th show… It’s a big milestone and I am surprised at how quickly it has come round. After winning the Bafta [for Best Entertainment Performance], the quality of guests has gone up a gear, and we’ve got Justin Timberlake on the 100th show. It’s only a matter of time before we have little Prince George on.

I didn’t expect to win the Bafta… I’d been nominated three times before, and as usual I was expecting them to say: ‘And the award goes to… Ant and Dec!’ When I had dreamed of winning, I imagined that I’d walk coolly up the stairs and give a great speech. In reality, I went blank and nearly burst into tears.

Chatty Man is getting a new set… The old one might have looked clean on the telly, but I swear you could have got MRSA from that rug, especially with all the drink spilled on it. We get big guests coming on now, and the set feels like my home. If you had Lady Gaga coming round to visit, you’d put bleach down the toilet and dust the skirting boards, wouldn’t you?

I’m not sure I’ll ask Liam Gallagher about his love life… He’s coming on the show for a chat and to sing with his group Beady Eye. I’m quite scared of him, to be honest. He is terrifying when he’s got his swagger on.

I don’t earn as much money as people think… The papers said I’d got a £4million, two-year deal with Channel 4, but the figures they bandy about are crazy. The main thing is that it’s nice to be wanted and I don’t have to go back to work in the Barclaycard call centre.

I’m writing a sitcom for Channel 4… Unfortunately another channel has commissioned a sitcom on the subject I’d chosen, so I’m going to have to change mine now. I’m the slowest writer ever. I can sit at my desk from when Homes Under the Hammer comes on the telly to the end of The Sky at Night and I’ll have written nothing.

I’ve had to learn to treat myself… I’ve still got that stand-up comic’s fear that it could all end tomorrow. My boyfriend Paul will see me eyeing up the value burgers in the supermarket and say: ‘Come on, Alan, let’s splash out and get the Tesco Finest ones.’

Graham Norton, Jonathan Ross and I are all friends… We’re not competitive with each other. Graham and I got chatting at a wedding in Mykonos recently, and we had a good old gossip about some of the rubbish guests we’ve had on our shows.

Alan Carr: Chatty Man returns on Friday August 30, at 10pm on Channel 4.

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